And the result?  After all the build-up, the flavor is just as odd as you’d expect — and oddly, it’s the least flavorful beer I’ve ever had.  Of course any normal beer probably tastes oddly flavorless to me, after trying Budweiser’s Clamato — but even after correcting for my forever-damaged taste buds, this is a very subtle beer.  It’s almost refreshing, practically alcoholic mineral water, and would be a good beer to drink after a marathon, if for some reason you had to drink a beer instead of a sports drink.  (Try it!)  But after the subtle dignified label and the promise of exotic sorgham, I was ready for a complex spectrum of unusual and challenging flavors to process, for tastes and top notes and bouquets and aftertastes, but instead I had to consciously check midway through to see if it still tasted like beer at all.  In other words, this is a Radiohead album cover containing a compilation CD of soap opera background music.

Its not beer in the strictest sense (Ill leave it up to you to lookup what a braggot is). And really, I have a hard time describing what it tastes like. Kind of scotch ale-esque, kind of wine-y. Its almost flavorful enough to feel chewy.

If you can find some, I recommend giving it a shot, but be warned. At 10%+ alcohol, a pint is likely to feel like a punch in the face. A flavor description defying punch in the face.

There aren’t any specific things to rave about this Hefe, other than just to say it was good. I enjoy Hefeweizens for those warm summer days, or those general “I want some beer” kind of evenings. When done right, they are worth a pour.

Dick’s Hefe is crisp, tasty and frankly a bit overly bubbly. But a worthy Hefe. Now if only it would get warm out so I would feel inspired to drink lighter beer…

And so goes the story with Seven Brides Lauren’s Pale Ale. At first, it was great. The initial taste was fantastic. A flavorful British style pale, with enough malty flavor to keep any hoppy cheek smash at bay. But then I was done…and the taste … was still there. Only it wasn’t good anymore. In fact, it was real bad. The wife said it reminded her of gym socks (tasted those before huh babe?) .

And while I wouldn’t say it tastes like socks (wait, how would I know that), I sit here 20 minutes later, still making that ’smack smack, dog with peanut butter’ mouth noise. I feel like this beer is stalking me. While tasty upfront, LPA wouldn’t go away. Just like Em.

(On a side note, I would like to give general kudos and props to the Seven Brides Brewery in Silverton, Oregon.  In addition to being another jewel in the Oregon Beervana crown, they are ‘keeping it in the family’ by using all local ingredients, and recycling the water and spent grain. We’re a bunch of ‘local rules’ treehuggers here at FG, so keep it up!)

Now don’t get the wrong impression here. I’m not saying its bad, because it certainly isn’t. I had two bottles of the stuff myself. This may even be the beer that you can get your “I only drink real alcohol” snob buddies to drink. I just wanted to make sure and give you all a heads up about what to expect, and to give you an idea of how much your breath will smell like a boozy hobo when you’re done. Salud!

I have a dream. The dream, is that someday I will be able to pour a “pumpkin beer” that actually tastes like pumpkin. In the good “pie” way, not the “some kid kicked in my jack-o-lantern and now its rotting on my porch” variety. Sure, plenty of breweries release fall ales claiming to be pumpkin-y. Without having tried them, you would think that they would be so funky and flavorful that no honest beer drinker could take it. But you’d be wrong. You see, the problem is that no one seems to be able to brew a pumpkin beer that actually tastes ENOUGH like pumpkin. An ale is an ale, but when it claims to be themed, and it tastes like … well, an ale … it just sort of leaves you wanting. Like getting raisins when you trick or treat.

Dogfish Head makes some funky and flavorful stuff, so I had real hopes here.  Unfortunately they fell prey to the same old song. Or rather, I should say a similar song. Its not completely ale-boring, tasting nicely of nutmeg & spice. And overall, I found it to be quite a tasty beer. But they seemed to miss the one ingredient that made the theme worthwhile. The pumpkin. Like with so many brewers before it, the elusive flavor just didn’t make it in the mash. Again. Sigh. Perhaps there is a reason they called in “punkin”. As in, “everyone we sell this to, we’re punkin”.

Alameda Klickitat Pale Ale

The other day, while browsing Freddy’s beer selection I put back my first choice in favor of a Hopworks Crosstown Pale Ale. Although I never regretted my decision I vowed to go back for the beer I left behind. That beer was an Alameda Brewing Klickitat Pale Ale. Alameda as in the Portland neighborhood, not Alameda, California. The extreme-localness™ of the company really caught my eye.

So tonight, on another run to Fred’s for some random groceries, I returned. There she was, cold, a little proud, but eager to prove herself. Reunited at last. But, you know how you dream of times gone by only to realize they aren’t as good as the memory? Maybe I just built it up too much.

Reflecting on my last sip I guess this Pale just a Pale. Nothing to write home about but a good pale nonetheless.  I mean, I want to write more but I’m just not inspired. I’ll definitely try another Alameda brew.

By all accounts, I would consider HUB’s Crosstown Pale a good beer. It’s not cheek smashy, not bitter, not burnt, not watery. In other words, nothing like Widmer beer. It’s only flaw really was that it was just too hoppy for my tastes. Slightly less hops, and this would have been a superstar. I drank the whole thing, but I really don’t think I would ever buy it again.

On the bright side, since it’s made locally, it’s an organic beer. That way, the hops that turn me away weren’t also pesticiding my insides.

So — a stout, and a chocolate stout, to boot?  What’s more, a *double* chocolate stout?  I doubled up my life insurance before drinking, just in case.  Despite the implicit intensity, it turned out to be a fairly routine stout.  In that venn diagram of flavors that includes dark beers, coffee, and dark chocolate, this beer is pretty much in the muddled middle.  I’m not sure I could tell if there were chocolate in this beer in a blind taste test.  It’s not particularly bad, just didn’t live up to the Hershey’s-and-bubbles that I had been anticipating.  I really should have aimed higher, for my first beer back from sabbatical.  Then again, “aiming high” sounds dangerously close to exercise, and I don’t want to go through that again…