But one evening, a dear friend of mine brought over this giant bottle, claiming in terribly misspelled letters that it was brewed with chocolate. I poured. I cringed. I braced myself. I sipped. And I said… ‘OMG Chocolate!’.

This stuff is just straight amazing. Its almost like drinking a chocolate liqueur (11% alchohol – woot!). Its still a stout mind you, with all the subtle stout thickness you would expect, but man can you taste the cocoa goodness. And it’s fantastic.

The only downside to this stuff is because it is so sweet and rich, you really can’t drink a whole one yourself. Call this a “party” drink. Fun for everyone to have a taste, but too wickedly alcoholic to drink solo. Although the potential that they attempted such a feat when trying to spell the title would certainly explain things.

       Have you ever tasted the syrup used in soda fountain machines, the stuff they mix with seltzer to make yer Mr. Pibb?  If you can recall that super-concentrated, thick flavor, you have a decent idea of Belhaven’s “Wee Heavy” beer — this stuff could be diluted 30-to-1 with hosewater and you’d still have more flavor than Budweiser.  This is a beer advertised as “milkshake-like” by the folks trying to sell the beer.  It’s so thick that it can’t even manage a decent bubbly head — even the bubbles rising to the top seem slow and weak, as if they were subjected to pressures greater than in seafloor trenches in the Pacific.  Animal life growing in this beer would soon evolve away their eyes, like the albino fish that live in caves.  In the universe of beers, this is the neutron star, with a density such that a thimbleful weighs more than a mountain.  Scientists are measuring the gravitational-lensing effect of light bending around bottles of this beer.  (Guess who watched the Discovery Channel while drinking beer?)

     Despite all this, despite this being the absolute no-contest thickest beer I’ve ever had, it was actually really good.  The moment you first sip a mouthful, you cringe a bit, because other beers this intense are usually so packed with flavor that the top of your head caves in (see, for example,  Samischlaus).  But not this one — somehow they have balanced all the flavors just right to make this a nice bit o’ brew.  I could see myself drinking a few of these, though it probably has more calories than if I had drank a pint of ranch dressing.  It would likely be a nice beer for the holidays, the time of year we’d be quaffing billion-calorie syrupy drinks like eggnog anyway.  I heartily recommend this beer for those of you not afraid of a little richness in life — enjoy the very first of my reviewed brews that gets top score.

In part one I’ll cover my favorite of the three; the Ninkasi Tricerahops Double IPA. But first, a little background on Ninkasi and my introduction to it.

I first heard of Ninkasi at John Barleycorn’s tavern in Tigard. I sat at the local McMenaman’s with my friend Ken listening to him, a fellow beer connoisseur, rant about how mediocre McMenaman’s beer is. Personally, I’ve never had a problem with a nice Rubinator (Terminator and Ruby) but I have encountered some interesting flavors in the past. In the end, I respect Ken’s opinion and like him, will continue to drink the swill the McMenemin brothers are serving.

As we were talking, Ken motioned to a nearby table interested in the conversation taking place. Evidently, the table guests were made up of some McMeniman’s big-wigs and the brewmaster from Ninkasi. Ken wondered what they could be talking about and pondered who it would be better for, McMenemin’s or Ninkasi. After a few minutes Jamie Floyd, Ninkasi brewmaster and owner, came over and said hi to Ken. Being fellow Eugenians they had met before. I was struck by how Jamie talked about his brews. He described them the way an artist talks about a series of paintings. He described them with beauty and vision. I had to try his beer. Its taken a few months and an especially painful close call at the Ship (in Multnohmah Village) but Frosty delivered Ninkasi to my doorstep.

So how does it taste damn it! Tricerahops Double IPA doesn’t disappoint. The first thing that took me was the complexity of the flavor. Hops for sure, but not just hops. Many brewers think they can create a great IPA  just by doubling or tripling the hops. Lagunitas and Rogue have been able to do it successfully but most fail with thundering cheek-smash.

Ninkasi Tricerahops Double IPA is a work of art.

In stark contrast to Walt’s testosterone fueled bottle art, this label not only wouldn’t kick your ass, but would most likely do something entirely different to it. But since this site needs to stay SFW, let’s move on.

The first pour of this told me how good it was going to be. The color alone was inspiring. Ruby-purple. I mean come on. I may be gushing a little too much because I just drank the whole big bottle, but I loved this beer. It takes fruity to the next level.  In all fairness, it’s probably closer to a lambic than an actual “beer”, but its damn good. It’s like drinking an alcoholic carbonated fruit juice.

My only semi-complaint about it, which may seem sort of nit picky, is that the serving size is too big. Because of the size of the bottle, and the desire not to have flat gross day old beer, you feel compelled to drink the whole thing. But man, is that a lot of sweet. I like a good tart as much as the next guy, but there can be too much of a good thing (chaffing?).

Still, super kudos goes to Bridgeport, who currently hold a 6 and a 5 on this site. I’ve been wary in the past since they sell beer at Trader Joes … but hey, everyone is allowed one mistake in life. With this and Haymaker, Bridgeport have climbed the mantle and can now hold on to the coveted “Frosty’s Official Portland Brewery” medal.

In closing, I bid you all to key an eye out for this sweet tart. And when you find her, grab her gently, take her top off, and wrap your mouth around … uh, er … you get the idea.

Until next time, here’s to beer you can’t see through.

Anywhoo, I was at my local New Seasons and spied an Imperial India Pale Ale (or 2PA for those in the biz). I love IPA, and 2PA is many times even better. However, sometimes people over do it and it turns out to be cheek-smash-palooza. Rogue has a nice one and it is one of my favorites. Green Flash has done it right with their 2PA.The hop flavor is delicious. If you have ever rubbed hops between your hands to smell the aroma, the experience is captured here. It makes you pause for a moment to take a whiff of it before taking a sip. Not long after, you find yourself wanting to take another whiff and sip too.

For an ale to inspire this lager-esque reaction is rare. Bright hoppy flavor but not too snappy. I like it!

When we sampled the IPA right out of the settling tanks we attributed the extra hoppiness to the fact that we were drinking really fresh beer. But I think this is the beer we sampled on the tour! Our sly brewman didn’t clue us in, but I think we got a little preview of this limited run ale.

Pretty cool.