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  • Frosty 10:17 am on February 13, 2010 Permalink | Reply  

    Hitachino Nest Espresso Stout. Coffee + Beer = Sink. 

    Run away!Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you poured cold coffee in beer? Well wonder no longer. Hitachino Nest has answered that question by brewing up their Espresso Stout. A “Japanese dark beer brewed with coffee beans”. A beer, best described as tasting like rancidity and sadness. Now, I’m no fan of coffee in general, but everyone else who tried this also gave it a resounding “yuck”.

    In an effort to brew something that satisfied both the night before and the morning after, they instead created what is officially the worst beer I’ve ever tasted.

     

  • Frosty 11:41 am on May 23, 2009 Permalink | Reply  

    Set adrift in nasty. Widmer Drifter Pale Ale. 

    widmeryuck-7An hour or so ago, I made a Twitter entry that proclaimed my intention to drink this, given that I had nothing else in the fridge. “In the land of the thirsty, the one starred beer is king” it proclaimed. Well, it turns out that the land of the thirsty is a lawless place. Not even my desire for a beer could get me choke down this swill.

    Hoppy where you don’t want it, tart in the rest, its just some kind of beer experiment gone wrong. Like, the flavors so bad that they decided to overcompensate by adding citrus “flavors”. “Needs more dog” as the saying goes.

    You know, the bottle has this tagline on it. “Brewers of Quality Beers”. Really? My sink doesn’t agree. Don’t get me started on Widmer, whose business lobby makes you pay for little things like tatoos and stickers. Somewhere along the way, local Oregon brewery turned into cash obsessed money machine. And the taste of the beer seems to gone along with it.

     

    • Swill Jockey 8:05 pm on May 23, 2009 Permalink

      Wholeheartedly agreed.

  • Frosty 9:31 pm on January 18, 2009 Permalink | Reply  

    Blech … Jubelale 2008. 

    I’m not going to spend too much effort on this, other to say that the 2006 version of Jubelale was nasty. 2007 was gross as well. In this regard, the 2008 version does not disappoint. Just as cheek smashy, just as odd tasting, just as quickly down the sink. This year, even the wrapper was bad.

    At least I didn’t have to pay for it. Except in watching the Charger game with the buddy who brought it over. But I’m not bitter, really. Jubelale on the other hand …

     

    • SwillJockey 10:35 am on January 19, 2009 Permalink

      I think the 2008 “Quickly Down The Sink” mean give this stuff to Swill Jockey and make him live up to his moniker and drink it.

      I’m scared, very scared. Someone hold me.

    • Frosty 10:46 am on January 19, 2009 Permalink

      Misery loves company.

  • Frosty 9:46 pm on November 17, 2008 Permalink | Reply  

    My life with Widmer, in a Brrr. 

    Widmer and I go way back. It began innocently enough with Hefeweizen. Pretty ubiquitous around the west coast, it taught me many years ago that there was beer that was actually good. Drop Top was decent for parties, and then came Snow Plow. When I first moved up to Beervana, I wish just giddy for the thick and tasty Snow Plow during the winters.

    But as time wore on, and I tried more and more beer, I began to notice the flaws in Widmer. The Hefe was just a touch too bland and overdone. The Drop Top was well, not so great for parties anymore, and the Snow Plow tasted like a burned tree. And so, like that girl in college who pasted a “I didn’t really want to break up, I just wanted to scare you into being more serious” note to my apartment door, Widmer and I were done.

    And so it was with Brrr. I wanted to give the local boys another shot, after all, the bottle wrapper was excellent. I poured a glass and drank. At first, it was good. Crisp, a little bite, but tasty. But then I drank more, and the bite continued. With one last swig I tried ot give it a go, and it had just turned undrinkable. I can’t explain exactly what it was. It may as well pasted a note as well, cause I just wasn’t able to take it any more.

    I know I can be a cranky drinker, but this one at least is coroberated by Chris of Ruby McGowan, who caught me in the hall to remark that he too had a quick break up … and that he has a winter ale brewing as we speak.

    So the lesson to take away is this, no matter how fancy her wrapper is, she has to be smooth on the inside. No wait. No matter how fancy her wrapper is, the second time down she’ll start to bite. No wait thats worse…er…dont drink bad beer.

     

    • Skylark 10:56 pm on November 17, 2008 Permalink

      Watch what you say ’bout my Widmer boys. Hef? Bland? I mean, name a better hefeweizen. Betcha can’t. Of course, it’s winter now and hef doesn’t sound good to me either. Besides, it’s my favorite time of the year (for me at least), IPA season! Drinkin’ a Bridgeport IPA as I type!

    • Frosty 4:42 pm on November 18, 2008 Permalink

      IPA season? Please, its dark and malty season my friend. Raven Mad Imperial Porter, now that’ll warm you up. And don’t claim such loyalty to Widmer…when you are drinking their clear superior as you type the comment ;)

    • Betty 6:54 pm on January 2, 2009 Permalink

      I was surfing around looking for reviews on Brrr since my husband just recently did a review on it as well. And everyone seems to like this one. My husband couldn’t stand it either. Finally ran into someone who didn’t care for it. LOL! Enjoyed your post!

      Hope you can stop by to check out my husbands review.
      http://thejoereview.com/2009/01/02/brew-review-17/

      And keep up the great work.

  • Frosty 8:39 pm on October 29, 2008 Permalink | Reply  

    Hibernation Ale: Like Bad Anesthesia 

    Ever had one of those beers where it feels like the flavor wraps around your teeth? Like its originating in your molars, wandering your bicuspids, then slowly slithering its way into that part of your pallete that makes you shudder. The kind where it’s a liquid, but you feel the urge to chew, and chew. HArd enough to kill whatever it was that was assaulting your mouth.

    So goes Hibernation Ale by Great Divide. Someone in the brewery said, lets give it more flavor! And out came the funk dropper. The label says “Robust”. But what they really mean is “Really f*@$!ing Rubust”. Rubust like a sweaty sumo wrestler. And tasting the same too.

     

    • David 8:54 pm on November 2, 2008 Permalink

      I recently had the opportunity to try this beer too. I have to agree with the eff-ing robustness of this beer. However, I enjoyed mine much more after some Jameson whiskey.

      Of course, there are a lot more things that taste (feel, look, etc.) better with whiskey.

  • Walt Liquor 10:36 pm on June 21, 2008 Permalink | Reply  

    Old Milwaukee… just sounds delicious, doesn’t it? This beer dates back before they named brews after snakes. I’m not sure if this is technically malt liquor or merely cheap beer, but I drank it from a 40-ounce bottle shaped like a Saturn rocket booster, so I’ll refer to it as the malt variety. Once Frosty hires a fact-checker for us, I’ll be more diligent in my terminology.

    This one was not terrible, but it really stands out for fizziness. The “beer” was astoundingly carbonated. Just so much bubbles, fizz, and accompanying bloated feeling, that I wondered how much actual beer there was in the bottle along with the CO2. If it’s warmer this month than usual, blame my beer review for doubling the global warming effect. Malt liquors in general are more carbonated, and oddly carbonated, than regular old beer — you can tell that whereas a homebrewed beer, for example, contains bubbles from natural fermentation processes, malt liquors contain bubbles thanks to the support of some scary industrial surfactant. Needless to say, I was absolutely charming in the eyes of Mrs. Liquor that night, with my horrible beer breath and need to burp every 3 seconds.

    What’s this I see on the label? Lo and behold, Old Milwaukee is brewed and distributed by Schlitz, which makes my least-favorite malt liquor to date. Given the flavors of both, it seems that Old Mil is the upscale, high-quality product, the Lexus to Schlitz’ Toyota. I’d drink this over Schlitz, but not much else — I really can’t recommend it for taste. If you’re entering a burping contest in the next 30 seconds, or you need to inflate a lot of backyard jumpy toys by hand this evening, I heartily recommend it. Otherwise, save your money, and save our world from more global warming!

     

  • Hops-scotch 8:51 pm on March 11, 2008 Permalink | Reply  

    Trader Joe’s Bavarian Hefeweizen… ick. 

    43172I haven’t had this beer in a long time. And yet, it hasn’t been long enough. I can’t even describe the bad that was the taste of this beer. This beer, if you want to call it that, holds the distinction of being the only beer I would not and could not finish. I know that Trader Joe’s isn’t known for its proper beer storage ways, but that can’t be the reason behind the flavor of the Bavarian Hefeweizen. It goes way beyond that. Only a temporary lack of sanity could lead to this sorry beer’s release.

     

    • Frosty 10:05 pm on March 11, 2008 Permalink

      I would like to propose that the temporary lack of sanity was in fact … the purchase of the beer. :)

      Trader Joe’s kills every beer.

    • Hops-scotch 8:16 am on March 12, 2008 Permalink

      Touche. I should have known better.

  • Frosty 9:11 pm on March 9, 2008 Permalink | Reply  

    Beers of Evil I: Belzebuth Blonde Ale 

    It was an indecisive day at the wall of beer. As I sat contemplating what to buy, my local beer pusher, Sally, remarked how many of the beers on the wall seemed to have a devil, evil, end of the world theme. Perhaps the brewers of America know something we don’t? I figured, well, if I have to go, I should heed the message at hand. Theme week! What better way to understand brewmaster revelations than to drink the beers themselves. For the next couple weeks or until the world ends, whichever comes first, I will be subjecting myself to and revealing to you … the Beers of Evil.

    Drunk time!This first beer I chose, some french* job named Belzebuth, immediately grabbed my attention with its gratuitous marketing. Taking up most of the neck was the massive announcement that this beer was 13% alcohol. Savoring dreams of being piss drunk after just one bottle, I poured the bottle into a glass and realized the second thing evil about this beer.

    Yes thats all there is It didn’t fill the glass! (See the picture to the right). I knew the french were annoying, but to make me angry before I’ve even had a single sip was a special accomplishment. I soon discovered however, that the bottler was actual doing me a favor.

    A little bitter, but still excited, I took a sip. Reaction: “WTF is this?”. It was like I was chewing it. Full of all sorts of heavy flavors, like gulping a rotten fruit salad. I was a trooper though and resolved to get through a bit more. Thankfully the next sip didn’t taste so rotten. As a matter of fact, it didn’t taste like beer at all. It was more like tonic water with a bunch of whiskey poured in. The kind of whiskey that comes in a plastic bottle. Evil indeed. This stuff was so nasty that even though I poured it out after only three small swigs, the boozy hobo aftertaste stuck with me for the rest of the evening.

    If one can call this beer, then I wouldn’t hesitate to call it about the worst beer ever. Quoth Mike Myers: “It’s not just evil, its ‘e-veel’. Like the fru-its of the de-veel”

     

    • Frosty 9:14 pm on March 9, 2008 Permalink

      *until france supplies me with a beer that doesn’t offend me so much, I refuse to capitalize. Team America, f**k yeah!

    • Walt Liquor 8:18 pm on March 13, 2008 Permalink

      Hmmm, worst beer ever? I’ll be the judge of that! It can’t be worse than Schlitz, can it? [Shudder]

      I don’t think I’ve had a high-alcohol beer yet that was good — all those quintuple-boch brews wind up tasting like someone stopped the beer-making process too early and bottled up the wort…

    • Patrick 7:52 pm on September 18, 2009 Permalink

      I beg to differ, after a colleague and I stopped at this new dive in downtown, claiming to have 40 “adventurous beers” we came across a few interesting choices. And after a pint of Dogfish Head 90 Minute Imperial IPA, the 8oz Belzebuth was a welcomed departure. The taste didn’t stick with me long, but I felt it when it was gone.
      Looking for retailers as we speak.

    • Large Hamster Cage 3:17 pm on January 30, 2010 Permalink

      been looking for something like this all day :) thanks.

  • Frosty 1:31 pm on January 6, 2008 Permalink | Reply  

    All that’s foreign is not gold: Koshikari Echigo Beer 

    Japanese GrossnessI present his here to you as a cautionary tale.

    Grandpa Goodness was in town, and we shared some of the yummy Hitachino Nest, both coming away with what we thought was a new appreciation for Japanese beer. Sadly, one day while I was away at the salt mines, Grandpa, flush from the success of the previous evening, decided to go to the local beer pusher and pick up something new from Japan to try.

    And so begets what is about the worst beer I’ve tried in the 60+ reviews on this site. It’s been a long time since I’ve had those college mainstays Keystone and Natural Light, but if my memory for nausea serves me right, they have a Japanese equivalent. Light like urine, rancid tang like urine (wait, how would I know that?) this stuff was … less than stellar.

    There are quite a few things I like to recall from college, but what the frat party beer tasted like isn’t one of them.

     

  • Frosty 9:59 pm on November 19, 2007 Permalink | Reply  

    Widmer Snow Plow – “Longing for the way we were” 

    Alas poor Snow PlowYou know those moments where you remember something so fondly from when you were a kid,. You remember how amazing this one experience was. Then you try it later as an adult and find out it was lame, boring or horribly nasty (hello Nesquik “Strawberry” Milk). Sadly, this is exactly what Widmer Snow Plow did to me.

    I can’t remember why it was, but for some reason I had it built up in my head that this beer was this awesomely brewed past lover. I imagined us strolling on the beach together, sharing a good laugh and sipping from each other’s malts.

    But in a scene straight out of a college “post beer goggles” morning wake up, what greeted my lips was something just short of totally nasty. Wha? Where was that beautiful yummy glass of pure joy I remember? All I can guess is that some really big burned tree fell in the vat. Because that can to be the only excuse for something that tasted straight out of the SoCal Wild fires.

    I wanted to give this beer a 3 for the good times I remember us having, but in the immortal words of Bruce Campbell, “Baby…you got real ugly”.

     

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