But one evening, a dear friend of mine brought over this giant bottle, claiming in terribly misspelled letters that it was brewed with chocolate. I poured. I cringed. I braced myself. I sipped. And I said… ‘OMG Chocolate!’.

This stuff is just straight amazing. Its almost like drinking a chocolate liqueur (11% alchohol – woot!). Its still a stout mind you, with all the subtle stout thickness you would expect, but man can you taste the cocoa goodness. And it’s fantastic.

The only downside to this stuff is because it is so sweet and rich, you really can’t drink a whole one yourself. Call this a “party” drink. Fun for everyone to have a taste, but too wickedly alcoholic to drink solo. Although the potential that they attempted such a feat when trying to spell the title would certainly explain things.

Sleigh’r is a Dark Double Alt, and its does its style proud. Super dark, super malty, and super yum. It has the great distinction of being one of the few 22’s I look forward to drinking straight through, regardless of the drunken consequences. As I froze my tukus off putting up Christmas lights the other weekend, just the thought that it was in the fridge warmed my bones.

It won’t be around long, so for those of you with a sense of taste (skylark: Alameda Papa Noel a 1? Come on…), pick some up, ditch the egg nog, and make Santa proud.

I had never seen this before, and frankly found it in the bargain bin of Market of Choice. I’m not sure why, but if I see a 6 pack of this lying around, it will most certainly become an automatic buy. If you can find it, I give a hearty thumbs up, as its now one of my favorite stouts of all time.(Sorry Black Seal, it was a good run)

And what’s with the deer-escaping-from-a-chess-rook logo?  The deer has a look of ennui about him, despite being consumed up to the neck by a castle turret while the ground to either side inexplicably sprouts wings.  Maybe he’s confident because he’s carrying a gunpowder horn around his neck.  What the hell?  At first glance the diagram passes for your typical old-world style coat of arms, particulary being rendered in black and white on a subdued beer label.  But it’s astonishingly surreal upon close inspection, and must be downright bewildering after drinking an entire six-pack of this stuff.

But I kid!  Before I make any more superficial, completely-beside-the-point complaints, let me just say that this a tasty little straightforward stout — no tricks, no bells or whistles, no chocolate or cumin or rutabaga.  Just a quality glass of pretty much exactly what you’d expect.  The randomness of my earlier comments attests to my difficulty in finding anything substantive to critique about this beer — Black Hart’s stout hit the spot in that coffee/chocolate/pleasant bitterness way of all good stouts.  Try it “Irish Style” with some smoked salmon in a smoky pub while it’s pouring rain outside, and you’ll feel a bit Irish, no matter where you hail from.  Unless you’re a deer — in that case, watch your step and keep your powder dry…

Wow! Yum! What a difference a year makes. It was smooth, thick, and oppressively dark. The flavors of licorice and molasses were there, but they have certainly taken the backseat to the excellent “stout-ness”. It also seems to have gotten more alcoholic during its stay in the meat locker. Either that or my liver has just given up even trying, cause … whew.

So now I’ve bought the 2009 batch. This year I buy more than one. And as I shove it into cold storage, I realize this is going to be a long year.

I won’t labor on the review too much other than to say “ew’. Like “omg ew”. Like, what were they thinking? Its labeled a “Dark Heff”, but I’m not sure what that even is supposed to mean. It is an assault on the tastebuds the like of which I haven’t had in awhile. The flavor was so all over the place, its almost like something I would recommend everyone try, just so I could watch the look on your face when you drink it. Its the beer equivalent to “Hey dude, this reeks….come smell it”.

When you think about it, they did warn me a little by naming it Dragon’s Breath. That being the case, I’ll finish out this little review with an unintentional review from dear Gollum: “[Dragon's Breath] It burns! It burns us!”

What? You don’t have any personal aircraft you say? Well, although I can’t really identify, I guess the next best thing you could do to satisfy that stout urge would be to head down to the local beer pusher and pick up a bottle of tasty Dick’s Cream Stout.

For me, stouts generally fall into two categories. Good. or Bad. So it was with much trepidation that I took a semi-aged bottle of Dick’s Cream Stout and gave it a pour. Much to my delight, I can say that this is now officially the “The Third Best Stout I’ve Ever Had”. It was smooth, it was tasty, and it finished with a real smooth aftertaste that didn’t have any hint of the charcoal tang or stale coffee “flavor” that plagues bad stout.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to fire up the helicopter for a quick dash to Oktoberfest.

(Incidently, this was posted from my cell phone. Technology!)

In some respects I’m reluctant to write a review on a beer whose characteristics likely changed during an extended period of improper storage. However, this beer was GOOD and deserves to be mentioned. The best way to describe it would an “un” pale ale. Going beyond the obvious (it’s a lager not an ale), the beer was dark like a brown ale, smooth and maltly like a stout, and carried the aroma of cascade hops with virtually no bitterness. The aroma of the hops carried through the actual drinking of the beer leaving you with a pleasant after taste that was more of a memory than an actual flavor.  Topped with a firm silky head, this beer deserved better than to be poured unceremoniously into a paper cup. Oh well, who knew I was going to like it. I was just thirsty.

I would love to know what this beer tasted like when it was fresh.  Maybe I’ll find one someday.   At least I know that if I don’t like it that way I can bury it in my hot garage for a few years and have a diamond for my trouble.

Ninkasi Radiant Summer Ale

I have decided that the Ninkasi Brewery is one that I just don’t “get”. The thing is, they seem to have this unhealthy obsession with hops. With the exception of their respectable Oatmeal Stout, every beer I’ve tasted of theirs has been a cheek smashing hop fandango. Without much effort you can imagine what their Summer seasonal was like then. First sip. Decent, if a little hoppy. The problem was those other sips. I started by thinking to myself, eh, 4 rating maybe 3. But with every sip, the score went down. Until finally the rest was undrinkable. Not to mention the face that SwillJockeys wife made when she tried it. Remember those “bitter beer face” commercials? Yeah that.

Full Sail Session Black Lager

I have decided that I just have an affection for “Black” beers. Note the distinction from Porters, Browns and Stouts. Those are awesome too, but there is something special about a 1554, Lompoc Strong Draft or Session Black that just makes them awesome. Perhaps its the manliness of having your beer be more daunting than the wiener with the IPA next to you. Maybe it’s the fact that even though you can’t see through it, its still got that easy drinking feel. Whatever it is, I dig, and Full Sail’s new Session Black is full of it. Its a crisp dark lager, that balances machismo with easy drinking for a nice summer pick. Although I didn’t get to drink it from one of those impy little bottles (a big mention in the Full Sail marketing material), I can report that the draft didn’t disappoint. To use the vernacular of the cool kids, with LTD03 and Session Black, Full Sail is “the hotness” this summer.(do people still say that?)

Chris McGowen Wheat White Wit

We like Chris McGowen. Why? Well apart from him being a nice guy, he’s one of the stable of local Favorite Amatuer Brewmasters that routinely supply me with tasty concoctions. His latest edition is one I affectionately call Wheat White Wit. Cause although to beer snobs there’s a distinction, when I asked Chris what he made, those three words all made it into the descriptive response. But hey, whose counting? Its free beer! Super duper cloudy (Chris spilled grain in the beer..doh!), it was a nice easy drinking wheat/white/wit beer. Perfect for a summer BBQ. If you can get your hands on some, I highly recommend taking his advice and mowing the lawn while chugging it down. There’s something about controlling a 3ooo rpm spinning blade of death and alcohol that just go together.