They say “a picture is worth a thousand words”. And if you take a close look at the picture on the left, you will see something that perhaps tells you more about this beer than even a thousand words could. Can you see what it is? For the astute, you will have noticed that the cap is still on. And that’s the way the remaining bottles of this icky stout will remain.

There are many stout makers that really get what a stout is all about: Black Seal Stout at the Rock Bottom in La Jolla, Snow Plow by Widmer, and our Patron Saint, Guiness to name a few. But then there are the others. Bison Chocolate Stout, Boone Valley Oatmeal Stout, and this one. “Stouts” from brewers that seem to think that burnt wood is a flavor people would like in their beer. I want to believe that they made it taste like this on purpose, but even so it doesn’t make it better. You get some yummy stout flavor on first sip, but then the rest of this bottle is like “juice of firepit log.” Steer clear.

I mean, with a description like “Czech Dark Beer”, how could I not have picked it up? It’s almost like going to Prague in person. Or so I imagine, never having actually been there. this stuff is sort of like a brown, with dreams of being a stout when it grows up. It’s similar to New Belgium’s 1554 beer. Dark, sort of a nut-like aftertaste. Something I’m sure Downtown Brown would hate, but I found it quite yummy. The only real downsides to it are the relatively low alcohol content (4%) and the limited availability for the general populace (only 1.99 a bottle!). Next time you are in the Old Republic … or a cool beer store, pick up one and give it taste. Tato hovno cítit blaho!

I guess I just have a special affection for beers that you can’t see through. While no Blackened Voodoo, it makes a decent substitute. It has that indescribable yummy dark flavor, without a single hint of cheek smash or “lets call it chocolate” twang (yeah you heard me Bison Chocolate Stout). Its good, and I basically have nothing but good to say about how yummy this tastes.

Sadly, since its from Brazil (how the hell do you pronounce that name anyway), you won’t be able to get a six pack for less that 10-12 bucks. Plus, I guess they don’t have good glass in Brazil, since this bottle had the weight and consistency of that sugar glass they use in the movies. If they weren’t so damn pricey, I may have had a few more and drunkily tested to see if it broke over my head. Thank you Market of Choice, for making this too expensive to hurt myself.

Faithful friends gathered drunkenly here today, I bring to you a review of joy and sadness. It is both a highlight of beer drinking, and a sad eulogy for an era gone by. And more and more sad southern preacher talk. Because the beer I have the sad pleasure of bringing you today stands as the best beer I’ve ever tasted. Dixie Blackened Voodoo. It is one of only two “six” rated beers I have ever had, and stands out so high on the list that I would bathe in the stuff…if I could get it ever again.

Which is why I carry the undertone of sadness. You see, thanks to that lovable hurricane we call Katrina, the Dixie Brewing Company was flooded and trashed. Then, because humans are such good creatures by nature, looters and thieves began breaking in and stealing all the equipment. NPR has the tale here. They claim they will be back in October of 2007, and I sincerely hope they do.

Blackened Voodoo is so yummy its hard to describe. Its jet black, super smooth, and drinks like an alcoholic Coke. I used to get these from the bar in Claim Jumper over and over again. Only the fact that I despised waiting in line for an hour to eat kept me from going more.

If the Dixie Brewing Company makes a comeback and begins to flow the voodoo again, I command you (by poking your little doll with sharp needles…voodoo get it?) to get one.

I love stouts, but I often hesitate at the oatmeal stouts, as unlike the previous entry, they tend to have that “kick you in the cheek” aftertaste that I dislike. As far as oatmeal stouts go, though, Alaskan’s offering is the best. It has the least amount of violence in every sip. It makes for a good drink to BBQ meat to, but requires that you are pretty thirsty to enjoy slowly. Despite being the best of the bunch, it is still an oatmeal stout, so get the cheeks ready.

Buzzsaw Brown is a tasty brew. Often Browns can go really bad, but the folks out in Bend have managed to come up with something that tastes good, without that “ow my cheeks” overflavoring. SoCal Paul and I shared some of these over BBQ on a spring evening and I was sad when they were gone. Deschutes brews in general can be a bit shaky sometimes, but this one is a “must drink”. Oh, but don’t get the warm version at Trader Joes. Would it kill those people to refrigerate?