Smithwick’s Ale — When You Want To Look Cool
Seeing the Irish beer setups for St. Patrick’s day at the supermarket (during a trip to buy Cadbury eggs, if you must ask) reminded me of Smithwick’s Ale, a beer that’s apparently the true day-to-day beer of choice of the Irish. Most people here in America know Guinness, a few know Harp’s and Murphy’s, but those in the know call Smithwick’s the real best beer in Ireland. By “folks in the know”, I mean our fellow American folks who are just a smidge annoying about how much they know and love Ireland. Thinking of this reminded me that I am a seriously obnoxious Ireland-loving Celtic groupie, and I haven’t inflicted my annoying Irish knowledge on all of you yet. So to correct that deficit, and in honor of upcoming St. Paddy’s day, here’s one of my favorite pictures from my trip to Ireland a few years ago. The view is from a bell tower in Kilkenny, the town where Smithwick’s is brewed, looking into the back storage lots behind a brewery. Those gray things you see stacked in rows behind the houses, the things that look like big gray storage sheds or tractor trailers, are KEGS — hundreds of them, stacked up five or six high, and hundreds deep. Yes, the stereotypes are true — the Irish are not messing around when it comes to drinking. There must have been a good 10 thousand of them here, and this is just the domestic output of one brewery in one relatively small town. Now that’s sightseeing.
And the beer? Well, I like my Smithwick’s as much as anyone else, but the beer in the kegs in the above photo is the actual best beer in Ireland: Guinness. Slainte!


“Irish style”? You’re just inviting disaster by naming a beverage with alcohol in it “Irish style.” While of course they mean to refer to the excellent tradition of fine brews to come from Ireland, they’re risking providing fodder for the equally rich tradition of drunk Irish jokes. What’s the recommended serving method for “Irish Style”, cracking the bottle over some doof’s head in the pub? They should save the trouble of bottling it — just pour it straight from the bottles onto walls of buildings, about waist-high, during the St. Patrick’s day parade in New York. (I’m allowed to make these jokes, by the way, as I’m one of the 83% of Americans who claim Irish descent. Here’s my proof-of-Irish card.)
This is a beer whose artwork can Kick Your Ass, Burn Your Village, and Decimate Your Culture for Decades To Come (and will Later Become the Mascot for a Football Team). This beer’s artwork scoffs at the so-called “badass” artwork of Colt 45, King Cobra, and the like. This beer’s artwork eats Steel Reserve for breakfast. I can’t even get into how it lays waste to the Country Club.
Frosty 8:33 am on March 2, 2010 Permalink
Everyone knows Mickey’s is the official Irish beer. House of Pain said so. And it comes in a green bottle! That makes it Irish right?
Randy 7:23 pm on March 2, 2010 Permalink
THE IRISH TRILOGY – PART 2 – SMITHWICK’S
‘Tis sure I’ll be wearing the green,
When the calendar says March seventeen,
To help me to think,
It Smithwick’s I drink,
Just try some, you’ll know what I mean.