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  • Frosty 10:17 am on February 13, 2010 Permalink | Reply  

    Hitachino Nest Espresso Stout. Coffee + Beer = Sink. 

    Run away!Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you poured cold coffee in beer? Well wonder no longer. Hitachino Nest has answered that question by brewing up their Espresso Stout. A “Japanese dark beer brewed with coffee beans”. A beer, best described as tasting like rancidity and sadness. Now, I’m no fan of coffee in general, but everyone else who tried this also gave it a resounding “yuck”.

    In an effort to brew something that satisfied both the night before and the morning after, they instead created what is officially the worst beer I’ve ever tasted.

     

  • Frosty 9:51 pm on February 20, 2009 Permalink | Reply  

    Lost Coast Raspberry Brown – Fruit gone wrong. 

    Fruity beers can go one of two ways. An awesome brew of fruity flavor, ala Stumptown Tart, or a nasty, syrup tinged nightmare like Lost Coast Raspberry Brown. I mean this stuff is terrible. What would possess them to make something that tastes like Raspberry Syrup poured into Brown Ale is beyond me. I assume there is a Brown Ale in there somewhere, but its hard to tell past the pucker.

    Because Lost Coast’s Downtown Brown is so good, I will chalk this one up to the brewers having too many evenings over in “herbal” Aracata. Now that i think about it, I guess that explains the wrappers.

     

    • joebarstow 1:51 pm on March 30, 2009 Permalink

      Hmmm. I had this ale last night at the bullpen and thought it was very refreshing! although I only had a few sips and gave the rest to my girlfriend who enjoys rasberry sweet stuff. Anyway, this deserves 2 mugs at least!

    • Frosty 6:57 pm on March 30, 2009 Permalink

      To be fair, the bottle I drank looked like it had been sitting around for a while. For a reason maybe?

  • Frosty 9:31 pm on January 18, 2009 Permalink | Reply  

    Blech … Jubelale 2008. 

    I’m not going to spend too much effort on this, other to say that the 2006 version of Jubelale was nasty. 2007 was gross as well. In this regard, the 2008 version does not disappoint. Just as cheek smashy, just as odd tasting, just as quickly down the sink. This year, even the wrapper was bad.

    At least I didn’t have to pay for it. Except in watching the Charger game with the buddy who brought it over. But I’m not bitter, really. Jubelale on the other hand …

     

    • SwillJockey 10:35 am on January 19, 2009 Permalink

      I think the 2008 “Quickly Down The Sink” mean give this stuff to Swill Jockey and make him live up to his moniker and drink it.

      I’m scared, very scared. Someone hold me.

    • Frosty 10:46 am on January 19, 2009 Permalink

      Misery loves company.

  • Frosty 10:47 pm on July 17, 2008 Permalink | Reply  

    Rogue Chipotle Ale – Claro Que No! 

    “Who is more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?”
    -Benjamin Kenobi

    Juan de la Cueva may have been a loon. For some reason in 1575 he wrote about some dish that combined Jalapenos and ale. Crazy? Maybe. But the real fools in this instance are the guys at Rogue Brewery who decided that this obscure story would make for a great beer.

    Have you ever tasted a shoe? No? Well, I’m not sure I ever have either, but immediately after taking a sip of this beer I was convinced it tasted like one. Then the shoe flavor left, and the real horror crept in. Repeat after me: Peppers do not belong in beer.

    The aftertaste was so wrong, completely awful on so many levels, that I was convinced I couldn’t really have tasted that. I tried again. I had Grandpa Goodbeer try it. All to no avail. This beer is gross. As soon as the otherwise odd flavor goes away, Rogue Chipotle Ale attacks you with the nuclear bomb of all Aftertaste Attacks. Dry, tangy, salty, throat scratchy, gross old jalapeno flavor. Its actually much worse than it sounds, if you can believe that.

    On the other hand…

    I did have to give it a 2. It worked pretty awesome as a marinade for Tilapia.

    I applaud Rogue for trying new things, I really do. But much like that random hallucinogen I tried in college, not all experiments are a good idea.

     

    • SwillJockey 12:25 pm on July 18, 2008 Permalink

      I came so close to buying one of those on that trip to Whole Foods. Now I’m glad I listened to reason and my empty wallet.

  • Walt Liquor 11:17 pm on July 3, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: My soul is now cursed   

    Budweiser and Clamato — My Stomach Wants a Divorce 

    This has been a bad week for my stomach.  First, we went to the county fair, where I had — you better sit down for this — 1) a deep-fried twinkie, 2) deep-fried oreos, 3) deep-fried Spam, and best of all, 4) a deep-fried WHITE CASTLE BURGER.  I believe these are coincidentally the forms that the four horsemen of the apocalypse will take when they reappear on earth.  Fortunately for us all, I neutralized them with my stomach.  Then, I found this beverage.  It was a moment that will forever live in infamy, a moment that will have entire chapters devoted to it in my children’s high school history textbooks, a moment that as we speak is forming the foundations of new religions.  The moment that I found…   Budweiser and Clamato.   Yeah, that’s right — Budweiser, a perfectly normal, profitable company, has put out a product that consists of a can, a can that contains beer, tomato sauce, and clam juice.  The resulting concotion is salmon-colored, cloudy, and carbonated.   And it looked just as disgusting as it sloshed down the kitchen sink drain as it did sitting on the shelf in the store.

     Clamato, as I read in wikipedia, is a mix of reconstituted tomato juice concentrate, reconstituted dried clam broth, and high fructose corn syrup.   Oh, and MSG.  Who the hell decided they needed to add beer to the mix?  It’s apparently very popular, particularly in Canada, but it is easily THE WORST BEER I’VE EVER TASTED.  And keep in mind, I’m the guy who actually finished forty-ounce bottles of Schlitz, King Cobra, and something called “Country Club”.  I managed two sips of this abomination before I had to eat a mop to get rid of the flavor.  It takes quite a lot to disgust me, and the fine folks at Budweiser have done it.  I raise a glass of Tums to you in salute.

     Sadly, I had poured it all down the drain before I realized I had not maximized the potential of this drink — clearly, what it’s meant for is dipping sauce for deep-fried White Castles.  Maybe next year, unless I wise up before then.  If I could give this drink a negative six, I could, but let’s just say that my digestive system will never be the same…

     

    • Ivana Goodbeer 7:37 am on July 4, 2008 Permalink

      You are a brave brave man. This was quite a sacrifice you made for the website. Bless you… (holds empty beer can and taps shoulders)

    • Frosty 7:40 am on July 4, 2008 Permalink

      OMG Walt! What did you do!? I remember the day I walked by this in the store and shuddered in horror. Your dedication to “taking one for the team” is both admirable and frightening. I guess I shouldn’t have canceled that Frosty Goodness medical plan…

    • Swill Jockey 7:44 am on July 4, 2008 Permalink

      Frosty, you deserve a demerit for not having a ZERO, or lower, on the rating scale here.

      Walt, there are an infinite number of demerits destined for you. Sigh.

    • Walt Liquor 4:23 pm on July 12, 2008 Permalink

      An update — I just checked the beer aisle at my local clamato mart, and they now have… Clamato and BUD LITE. What niche does that fill? Who could that possibly be targeted to, people who drink clam juice yet are calorie-conscious?

  • Frosty 1:31 pm on January 6, 2008 Permalink | Reply  

    All that’s foreign is not gold: Koshikari Echigo Beer 

    Japanese GrossnessI present his here to you as a cautionary tale.

    Grandpa Goodness was in town, and we shared some of the yummy Hitachino Nest, both coming away with what we thought was a new appreciation for Japanese beer. Sadly, one day while I was away at the salt mines, Grandpa, flush from the success of the previous evening, decided to go to the local beer pusher and pick up something new from Japan to try.

    And so begets what is about the worst beer I’ve tried in the 60+ reviews on this site. It’s been a long time since I’ve had those college mainstays Keystone and Natural Light, but if my memory for nausea serves me right, they have a Japanese equivalent. Light like urine, rancid tang like urine (wait, how would I know that?) this stuff was … less than stellar.

    There are quite a few things I like to recall from college, but what the frat party beer tasted like isn’t one of them.

     

  • Frosty 9:29 pm on October 5, 2007 Permalink | Reply  

    Alaskan Winter Ale – Ow my tastebuds! 

    Alaskan Winter AleThis beer made me so sad. Up to this point, Alaska Brewing had been batting 100, scoring with the Amber, Stout, and Summer. Endlessly long winters however, seem to have taken their toll on the brewmasters. This beer advertises itself as being brewed with spruce tips..which should be your first warning. When I think of good beer flavor, somehow trees just don’t come to mind. But I was feeling adventurous.

    How this beer really tastes is indescribable, since it assaults you with so many flavors you can’t really decide what it tastes like. Except for gross. On the upside, the overly powerful taste worked great for a marinade. Saved from a 1 by the mighty spruce.

     

    • SwillJockey 4:37 pm on October 6, 2007 Permalink

      Thanks for leaving two bottles of that skanky brew behind for me to clog up the drain in my kitchen sink with! Bastard! My next new beer to give you when we meet again for dinner won’t be as nice as the Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale was.

      A TWO is generous. A definite sink choker on my rating scale.

      I’ll post my comments on the punkin’ stuff soon..

  • Frosty 1:02 pm on June 24, 2007 Permalink | Reply  

    Speakeasy Prohibition Ale 

    prohibitionI really wanted to give this a “1″. But I figured I would be fair since I really don’t like beer that tastes like this. Sorta IPA meets bitter beer face . Ok never mind, it’s a 1. It was a real effort to keep my teeth from jumping out of my mouth the second I drank it. I give it a label of “one swish sinker”. Meaning all it took was one swish for the rest to be poured down the sink.

    I don’t like IPA’s or Pale Ales in general because of that “why would anyone drink this” hop flavor. But, this beer’s main offense isn’t so much tasting like that, as much as not letting me know it was going to. Prohibition? They should have called it “Prohibitive Ale” instead.

     

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