I don’t normally like Oatmeal Stout, but Ninkasi did a great job with this one, giving it the distinction of now being the 4th best stout Ive ever tasted. Sorry Abyss.

I am posting this review for bookkeeping sake, so it’ll be super short. The Abyss. They only make it once a year. I am okay with that.  4th best stout Ive ever had.

This has to be the fiercest beer found in “regular-folks” circulation at grocery stores — you of course can get much odder, harsher beers at specialty stores and Trader Joe’s, but this is as far as you can go into dark cheek-biting beers that are stocked next to the baloney at Ralph’s. So I suspect that this beer is to potent stout beers as Avril Lavigne is to punk rock.  This beer is also the next in my Macarthur-Genius-Award winning series on Beers Whose Artwork Can Kick Your Ass.  And in this case, steal your soul and possibly lead to a communist revolution in your very home.  For those keeping track, this is Part 6 in the series, which includes four malt liquors, a viking, and now an indestructible quasi-priest with a serious beard.

And, I might add, serious cheek bite.  Holy mouth burn, does this beer bite!   You may want to go over your tongue with a pumice stone for a few minutes before drinking, just to warm up.  Certainly it’s not the biggest offender out there — specialty store stouts could bite your cheek twice as hard, I’m sure.  Somewhere, somebody is probably brewing some prototype Nuclear Stout that contains so much hops that not even light can escape, a beer that will blast your cheeks into next October, where they will suddenly reappear after you’ve learned to cope without them, reattach to your face and hurt like hell for the next twenty years.  But as far as beers that you can readily find during a trip to buy diapers, this is pretty sharp.  Not a bad taste, though — I do like stouts quite a bit (Guinness being my all-time favorite beer) and so it was definitely a good diversion from the usual horse pee I drink for entertainment’s sake on this site.  But I must ashamedly admit I bought it more for the label, once again suckered in by soul-less commercialism.  Isn’t that how Rasputin would have wanted it?

First of all, sorry for my tardiness in coming to this fine site. Hopefully my additions will be worth the wait. It took some thought to decide what beer my first review should be about, but I decided to start on a high note. I decided to start with my all time favorite beer (so far), the Black Seal Stout from Rock Bottom Brewery. For those of you unfamiliar with the sublime experience that is Black Seal Stout, it is chocolate-y and coffee-y but without any burnt flavors sneaking in to ruin the party. It’s also very smooth and very dark. Light doesn’t stand a chance of getting through it. I would probably drink this exclusively if it weren’t for the fact that I’ve never been able to drink more than one pint at a time. I will admit that my taste in beer runs on the less hoppy side, more malty side, but this beer epitomizes that. If you’re in the mood for a rich, creamy after-dinner drink, may I humbly suggest the Black Seal Stout.

Until next time, here’s to beer you can’t see through.

As a father of three, one of which arriving in the last 2 weeks, it is odd that I am writing to you completely alone in my usually busy house. With a new baby boy, two pre-teens, and a wife who I love to talk to, it is very odd indeed.

I returned from my indoor soccer game (we won, 10-3… yes!) to find the house empty. The whole fam damily was off visiting Grandma. I stopped at my local New Seasons picked up some meatloaf, some garbanzo bean salad, and the first pint and 1/2 that caught my eye. I love the selection at New Seasons. It makes choosing a beer hard, which is a good thing in my book.

It came down between El Hefe, a hef from Seatle’s Hale’s Ales and Laurelwood’s Vinter Varmer. I was about to buy both but I decided against upon inspection of El Hefe. Being from the home of Widmer Brewing, I expect my Hef to be golden and cloudy. I could see right through the bottle, and like my drinking water, I don’t trust anything I can see through. With that I vowed to try the El Hefe some other time and buy the Vinter Varmer. Also, I have to admit the label had me at the cute little squirrel (he drinkin a pint!). I am a sucker for label designs and this was no exception.

Fresh from my soccer victory I was feeling great as I sat down to enjoy some meatloaf and American Chopper. The Vinter Varmer was a perfect match for the meatloaf. I love meatloaf and it made me yearn for some Raccoon Lodge stout gravy. This stout had a nice carmely finish with rich undertones. Not your typical burnt-chocolatey stout. Very nice.

The pint and a half format is perfect for this kind of beer. Of course, the best way to enjoy this beer would probably be sitting down at the Laurelwood with Frosty and connman with some pub grub but the next best thing has to be this. I couldn’t imagine myself drinking a six-pack of this stuff (I don’t think they even sell it that way) but it is great in a single serving.

I think I might try to make some gravy with some Vinter Varmer but I will probably end up drinking it instead.