I’m speechless. Not so much in an awe sense, but in a well…I dont know what to say.

I’ve always had a “sucks or awesome” relationship with Deschutes beers, and finally they have found one that is truly ordinary. In celebration of their 20th Anniversary, the Gramps and I popped open the Anniversary Wit to go with the “guys night out” Burgerville run. And it was … fine. Not awesome. Not Terrible. Just fine. I know, weird coming from me to not have an opinion, so I will instead do my best to describe it with one of the worlds most ubiquitous space wasters, the bulleted list.

4 ways to describe this beer:

• Ok I guess.
• Not as good as Mothership Wit (Damn you New Belgium)
• I hope its price goes down
• Have any Black Butte Porter? No.   Have any Buzzsaw Brown? No.   Blue Moon? I figured not.  … ok, I’ll guess Ill have the Wit then.

Hoegaarden Witbier - When shopping at Haggen for an appropriate beer for break-time-post-Home-Demolition-101-swillage at Frosty’s place, this beer practically lept off of the shelf into my shopping cart. It’s name was that good. Heck, I bought this beer for the name alone. That fact that it’s a style I like was just a bonus. After the wife saw what I had chosen, I got one of “those looks” from her, but we’ve all learned when we can safely ignore those. This was one of those times.

Around 11:30 on sunday, the time came to till the Hoegaarden. Of the eight people and one NEW beer at Frosty’s house on Sunday, only four of them were even remotely possibly candidates for wrapping my lips around. Doing so to the first of those four, Mrs. Frosty, would have resulted in rifts in the space-time continuum that I’m not prepared to deal with. Doing so to the second of those four, Mrs. Jockey, would have just been plain awkward in a public venue with children around. Doing so to the third of those four, Frosty….well let’s not go there, he’s not my type…..and he was just plain filthy by this time anyway. Alas, the fourth option was my only real choice.

With quivering lips and fluttering eyes, I watched Frosty pour the golden elixer into a frosty glass for me. I almost had to excuse myself. My first taste was WOW, this is interesting stuff! Let me try more and continue to deflower the Hoehaagarden with my quivering lips. The wildly different Belgian Hoe’s yeasty, fruity but not fruity flavor started to become more natural. I finished the glass quickly and savored every elicit drop.

This is good stuff, contrary to what the women in the room thought. Mrs. Frosty’s comment will live forever in my mind along with memories of this beir: “Hoegaarden - It tastes like a hotdog.”

You can tell this isn’t a woman’s beer from comments like that. The tasting of hotdogs is something this not often spoken of inside the sanctity of marriage unless you’re one of those lucky few most of us envy. Since my lovely, caring, radiantly beautiful, and nurturing spouse had similar, although much more interesting facial reactions to this bier, she’ll not be drinking more of it either.

More for me! I can quietly relish the remaining four and ponder my hotdog in peace.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoegaarden_Brewery

I haven’t had this beer in a long time. And yet, it hasn’t been long enough. I can’t even describe the bad that was the taste of this beer. This beer, if you want to call it that, holds the distinction of being the only beer I would not and could not finish. I know that Trader Joe’s isn’t known for its proper beer storage ways, but that can’t be the reason behind the flavor of the Bavarian Hefeweizen. It goes way beyond that. Only a temporary lack of sanity could lead to this sorry beer’s release.

After a long day of eating bonbons and polishing my toenails, there is nothing I want more than a smooth and flavorful beer, straight from the bottle. (Yes… I surpass the middle man. I am not a pansy who needs to pour it into a glass first!) Blue Moon’s original Belgian style wheat beer is just the ticket for such a grueling day. It is refreshing, light, and still full of flavor. The Blue Moon Website even suggests having a slice of orange with it. (Sorry, can’t get the slice through the bottle opening so I will have to take their word for it!) I recommend this one for a relaxing evening in the hot tub, or if you don’t have one, drink it in the shower… I don’t care.. just drink it! It is yummy!

In the ongoing frosty-battle between Full Moon and New Belgium, the leader of the pack is constantly changing. But like a presidential primary, based on last nights polling results New Belgium has delivered a mighty smack down with its “Mothership Wit”. It’s light, a touch spicy, and has a clear crisp taste that is very wheat brew-y.

Fellow reviewer skylark (whose wife recently gave birth to a bouncing baby boy), and I were having an argument … er … discussion once about his assertion that New Belgium beers all taste the same. Having now tried all but 1, I have to say that Mothership Wit tastes nothing like 1554, and publicly decry that he’s just bitter that New Belgium doesn’t make IPAs.

I also have to give this beer extra kudos for being organic. Up here in the land of Birkenstocks and hybrid cars, labeling things organic gives you extra points with the “boutique grocery store” crowd. Even the hippies my kids played drums with in the park would approve. Not of showering perhaps, but drinking this beer for sure. Then recycling the bottle to water your “medicinal” herbs, man.

We had another one of those impromptu bbq’s at work today. Fortune, or possibly misfortune, was smiling upon me as I noticed another Sam Adams Cherry Wheat was in the beer bin. I arrived to the bbq early, so the beer hadn’t had long to steep in the ice.

Now I see where some other people people got wildly different experiences from the Cherry Wheat than I did after my first taste of it. My first taste of the stuff was when it was VERY cold and it tasted wonderful. Today, it was just slightly cold and tasted of “cough syrup cherry flavoring”.

I was disappointed that the mere change in temp could affect this beer so drastically. I finished the beer, but the experience knocked a few points off of my previous rating.

I am thankful I wasn’t able to find this stuff sold by the case and didn’t end up saddled with lots of warmish beer flavored cough syrup.

Moral of the story: drink this shtuff cold or don’t drink it at all!

**edit - I’m sorry to say that I’ve had to lower my ranking on this beer to a three.   See above for the reasons for this beer’s fall from grace.

The company I work for had a BBQ on site last week. As usual with company bbq functions, they coughed up some beer for us. Yippeee!!! When digging through the bucket o’ goodness, I found some Sam Adams Cherry Wheat. Figuring that it would taste OK, I popped one open and took a swig.

THIS STUFF IS UNBELIEVABLY YUMMY!! It’s not overly fruity but it definitely tastes of cherry. It’s a mild wheat bear that’s incredibly well balanced and not too sweet. These guys know their way around a beer!

Every now and then, when I’ve had tons of the Easy Drinkin’ brews, I hanker for something more experimental. I wander down to the local brew pusher and grab something off the “wall o’ beer”. Sometimes this can have spew worthy results (see Fuller’s Extra Special Bitter … my dad bought it). But on occasion I get lucky, and this stuff is certainly one of those times. Those crazy Belgian brewers have created a fruity sort of yum in a way that Kona’s Wailua missed entirely. It’s a light tasty Belgian Wheat that leaves no crappo aftertaste that can be the hallmark of foreign beer.

The main problem I have with this beer has nothing to do with the taste, its the goofy wrapper. A snail? Really? I mean maybe they market this beer to France, or perhaps it just has some ingredient that the distributor chose not to mention. Either way, it’s a terrible visual choice, and makes me wonder what exactly it was that brought me to pick it up in the first place. Sacre bleu!

Any beer from Bridgeport Brewery will always get my attention. This local brewery’s IPA will always have a special place in my fridge. However, when I look at the beer cooler at my local Freddies I have to wonder if it isn’t just a big beauty contest.

The packaging on beer labels and boxes gets more and more elaborate each year. From the local artistry featured on Rogue Ales to the slick Budweiser Select bottles, a lot of thought goes in to the look and feel of your average brew. And there is definitely a “micro-brew look.” If you look closely, you can tell the posers from the real thing.

Bridgeport’s Haymaker Extra Pale Ale is no exception when it comes to the design of the packaging. As a designer, I appreciate the level of branding and illustration. This beer is definitely the product of a highly skilled marketing team. However, it IS the real thing.

The verdict: Bridgeport brings their characteristic hoppiness to a wheat beer. Finishes light and crisp, just right for summer time.