A beer from Monty Python’s comedy crew, brewed (I envision) by stiffly-moving british police in a hand-cranked meat grinder.  I of course picked this up purely for the label, as being a card-carrying geek I would proudly drink any beer brewed by Monty Python, Dread Zeppelin, They Might Be Giants, rock tumblers, graphing calculators, 24-sided dice, etc.  (I could go on…)  I know I’m being suckered by niche-marketing, and I know the true beer snobs will complain this is the wrong way to pick a brew.  But let’s face it, you’re not reading Walt Liquor’s beer reviews on this site for my nuanced palate, are you?  (If you are, I urge you to read my Grammy-award-winning series of reviews on Beers Whose Artwork Can Kick Your Ass.)

The joke of the label itself is a little broad, given the off-kilter Monty Python humor — the beer artwork says “Holy Grail”, with the “GR” crossed out and “ALE” written in below.  Yes, thanks, I got the joke — broadcasting your joke that loudly I’d expect instead from something Jay Leno pasted to a black card, not from the folks at Monty Python.  And yet, the beer is actually really tasty…  it’s got a nice thick ale taste to it, something you might imagine enjoying with a bratwurst or salt & vinegar chips in a British pub somewhere.  I had figured that an essentially gag one-off beer would show the signs of a lack of priority on taste, but it’s the real deal.  Of course after five straight reviews of the very worst in beer (again, see my Stanley-Cup-winning series on Beer Whose Artwork Can Kick Your Ass), Formula 409 might get three out of six from me at this point.  For that reason I give myself a handicap of one off my first impression of 5 out of 6 for this beer.  I heartily recommend it.   And I wear high heels.  And I like to press wildflowers…

Frosty and I took our buddy visiting from Texas, B-rad, to our local McMeniniman’s. The Cornelius Pass Roadhouse is a great place to take visitors. The antique timbers, local artwork, and proximity to the Silicon Forest make it an easy way to give someone a taste of Portland.

We sat down for some good pub grub and conversation and ordered a pitcher of Starfire IPA. Frosty had the Summer Wheat or something because he is a hater. The IPA was distinctly different on the first sip. Both B-rad and I immediately blurted out  salmon. Puzzled, Frosty took a sip and came to the same conclusion. Smoked salmon to be specific. It was nice, kind of mellowed out the hops. It was almost like someone dropped a piece of charred cedar from a smoke house in to the hops.

Pleased with our choice in beer and our interpretation of the flavor we continued to dig on some cajun tots. After a while I took a deep swig from my now half empty glass and caught a distinct whiff of  B.O…. you know, body odor, man-stink. And not just any B.O. I’m talking a true ripeness. Ball-sweat. Taint-drip. Mary Catherine Gallagher neurotically shoving her hands in her pits and thrusting them in her face.

It was the unmistakable smell of your Grandpa’s BVD crotch after a strenuous game of Texas Holdem… and he didn’t come away ahead. You know what I mean? Yeah you do… he was clenchin’ those cheeks all the way to the River.

In the end, however, I learned something about myself. Turns out I can appreciate a good ball-sweat. I mean, I think I am going to refrain from getting it right from the source. That might have some unintended consequences and perhaps a slightly different aftertaste. No, definitely not but I guess what I am really saying is that it didn’t ruin the beer entirely. The unique smoked-salmon flavor really set it apart. I would simply request that those hippy brewmasters down at McMeniman’s refrain from throwing their sweat-soaked frisbee golf uniforms in with the hops.

After a long day of eating bonbons and polishing my toenails, there is nothing I want more than a smooth and flavorful beer, straight from the bottle. (Yes… I surpass the middle man. I am not a pansy who needs to pour it into a glass first!) Blue Moon’s original Belgian style wheat beer is just the ticket for such a grueling day. It is refreshing, light, and still full of flavor. The Blue Moon Website even suggests having a slice of orange with it. (Sorry, can’t get the slice through the bottle opening so I will have to take their word for it!) I recommend this one for a relaxing evening in the hot tub, or if you don’t have one, drink it in the shower… I don’t care.. just drink it! It is yummy!

First of all, sorry for my tardiness in coming to this fine site. Hopefully my additions will be worth the wait. It took some thought to decide what beer my first review should be about, but I decided to start on a high note. I decided to start with my all time favorite beer (so far), the Black Seal Stout from Rock Bottom Brewery. For those of you unfamiliar with the sublime experience that is Black Seal Stout, it is chocolate-y and coffee-y but without any burnt flavors sneaking in to ruin the party. It’s also very smooth and very dark. Light doesn’t stand a chance of getting through it. I would probably drink this exclusively if it weren’t for the fact that I’ve never been able to drink more than one pint at a time. I will admit that my taste in beer runs on the less hoppy side, more malty side, but this beer epitomizes that. If you’re in the mood for a rich, creamy after-dinner drink, may I humbly suggest the Black Seal Stout.

Until next time, here’s to beer you can’t see through.